Is Our Friend..Ship Sinking ?

One of My friend told me today: “The Life is too Busy these days, its Office, Study, Home, Travel Only. I Don't get time to meet my friends", Another friend told me: "How good it would have been if we could rewind the time, I miss that time". Another told me "Buddy, Why not we have Our Re-Union Every month, when we like being together"

Many of my friends grew our careers together in same company and there was not so much of competetion as what we see today, Today each one of them is in a MNC but competing companies & these quotes came from a very polite, humble , respected and My dear friend & colleagues (Mohit Arora) , he said this to everybody in a reunion "Guys Just Think, today we all are working with Large Organizations & Competing Companies. Competing with each other every day in some way or other for helping our companies grow their businesses, Just think, if we start our own company, what strength that organization would bring on the table ? We all are best in what we do! and each one of us compliments the other, why cant we be together and build the Best Company in the world rather than competing ?"

It is definately a hard hitting fact that all of us face in life , since the feelings expressed by each of of my friends is not new. Each of these words that came straight from the heart, Each one of us were feeling the pinch of time we were dedicating to our friendship in the Rat race that we live today.....We want to be together but are were we doing our bit to be there is the question ?

Though I am not trying to justify the little time that we are spending for our friends but the the reality is that the "World of Friendship" too has changed its paradigm with changing time.

Ask this question to those who are above 50 plus years of age. They can easily explain to you the importance of friendship. For them, making friends is a simple, quick process. According to them, Friendship doesn’t come with a manual; they don’t need to be taught how to make friends. If you enjoy each other’s company, then it is done; they are friends for the rest of their lives. Theirs would be a fast, thick and long lasting relationship. They greet each other on seeing; enjoy their evening walks together; perhaps once in a while have a lunch or dinner together and ask each other’s family matters. They don’t see it a ‘taboo’ to poke their nose into each other’s personal matters, to discuss their family problems and share their joys too! For them, Friends are the ones to lift you up when you are down. They, thus value Friendship more than their families...

However the concept of friendship is changing fast with time. In this decade of millennium, that is passing by , when people hardly have time to breathe, have sparse time for themselves and their families, is the ‘ship’ called ‘Friendship’ sinking? Many would agree to the above question, yet some would say ‘NO’.

In these modern times of technology, we are still remaining in contact with our friends who are miles away in far off lands. With MSN, Yahoo, Google and their online chats and social networks like Facebook and Orkut etc, with the click of a button we can see and communicate with them, argues many. For the youths of today, laptops, desktops and internet connections are indispensable part of their lives to retain their friendship. Thus, for them, only the definition of friendship has changed.

Now ask them about the modern day’s Friendship; they would say that its meaning has changed now. Friendship has now become rather complicated and formal. It is difficult to make fast friends because one has to be careful in choosing one’s friends. Most of the kids now must be taught how to make good friends. (We are teaching our kids whom to make friends with & whom not to). See, we need a manual these days! Moreover, it does not last for a life time. Friendship just dissolves in the complexities of modern lives. All are busy; there is hardly any time or space for others but themselves alone. And it may also hurt some of us, if we see our friends don’t understand that that time or space is being shared by depriving someone else.
We might have plenty of colleagues in our office but not all are their friends. We cannot share our joys, personal problems and family matters with them. Their bonding is hardly Friendship but rather more ‘colleagueship’. You cannot lean on their shoulders at the time of hardships. Some of them cannot be even trusted; some might turn out to be your traitors at your work place, hindering your promotion. Thus most youngsters today would prefer their family first than friends.

You get a mixed opinion about Friendship if you ask today’s youngsters. For some, they are integral part of their lives, more important than their marriage; for some it is a necessity; for some it is an obligation; yet for others, the most exciting feature of friendship is that they can drop their old friends and easily find new ones, as they cannot choose their family. For a majority of them, friendship is the same as buying a house; you buy a house which you can only afford and the one which is for sale; and so is friendship – you can choose your friends only from the people you have met!

Ponder over it and help build the old days that we all miss , like the old songs quality of Music we miss...

Get inner peace….

One fine day, one of my friend called me, I found her that she was very restless as she wanted to purchase something and could not leave office in time. I told her to calm down but frankly I could not budge her out of the mood. This is when I realized that an external force cannot help you more; it has to be an inner conscious that has to help you heal the wound.Though all written is not what I try to follow , but when in stress , I do take a look at many aspects of the other side of the life I live.

So where do we really need to get inner peace….

When things go wrong, it is hard to find inner peace. There are many questions you have to ask yourself for the reasons you do not have peace. You have to examine yourself and see if you are doing something wrong that make you feel out of sorts, or if there is an external force around you that is contributing to your restlessness. Then you have to decide what are your options. For every option, you have to look at your heart, and find out which one gives you more peace. For example, you plan to go to the store on Saturday, and the rain came down. Do you still want to go, and have to fetch handbags in the rain. Or is your conscience telling you to wait. Another day might be better.

Once you find out the reasons, you can take steps to improve your situation. Some of the basic things that can make us fell out of sorts are debts guilt, job, health, relationships or money. By examining these issues, you can gradually find peace for what was going wrong in your life.
If you are in debt, you have to analyze your situation. If you are spending more than you earn, you can lose your peace. You will need to reduce your spending, so you can pay off debts, and save some money to feel more peaceful. If stress is in your life, you will have to decide where it is coming from and make adjustments to your life, to feel more relax. Sometimes we have to use a philosophical method to deal with problems. And to know whatever is making you feel bad is only temporary. It will pass and you will regain your peace. We have to believe in hope for a better tomorrow.

We can have peace by living a purposeful life. When we are active, we feel more healthy. You cannot have inner peace if you are unhappy. Do not allow people who have unreasonable expectations about you to disturb your inner peace. Our own thoughts can make us feel happy or sad. We should learn to control our thoughts by reading books on sacred scriptures or listening to your favorite music. When we cultivate good uplifting thoughts, then we can avoid feeling disturbed which is harmful to peace of mind.
In order to have peace of mind, we have to cultivate healthy eating habits. Nutrition is essential to peace of mind. If we become sick, we will worry and suffer anxiety. Everyday we need different types of food to keep us healthy. Not having enough sleep can also affect us. If we do not have enough sleep, we will not able to think properly. Well this is a dream which I wait for every week J

If weight is your problem. Then try to find out about different eating patterns, and ways to lose some weight. Exercise could be also very important to help us maintain inner peace. By controlling our thoughts and exercise, we can keep our minds free from worry and have inner peace, even though it might look like things are not improving. Even I am trying to work on this J

Too much travelling is not good. There is stress involved in travelling. Expenses, packing, moving from here to there can interfere with your peace of mind. Try to regulate your travels. Meditation really helps to calm your mind and also if possible yoga exercises. I do try to meditate every night before I sleep, this helps me have a very calm & peaceful sleep.

I believe a lot of people have this experience at some time or the other. I certainly have had this experience. I wanted to find inner peace in my life when nothing seems to be right. I did not know how. I was using common sense to reason within myself that this could be the answer and that could be the answer. But I have learnt differently. What we feel inside is not what is going on with our lives in the invisible realms.

“How religion can help you”. When we experience some sort of dissatisfaction on life, we have to look in our minds to find out why we feel like that. Obviously, some sort of frustration, that you do not know the answer. In this truly digital world , I do try to listen to bhakti sangeet, Geeta Gyan, Manache shloka, the rhythm of such music itself helps you heal a lot.
The bottom line is, we should always have an open mind in this world we live in, and to embrace the happiness that could be ours. Once you find out your problem, it is possible you you will able to find peace when things were going wrong. You will find the right way, what to believe and what you must do.

Can Money Buy you Happiness ?

Can money buy you happiness? Yes—so long as you spend the money on someone else. This thought cropped when one of my friend told me that she loves to do something for others as she finds happiness in doing. Guess what ? She is best at it.

Giving other people even as little as $5 can lead to increased well-being for the giver. One of the most puzzling paradoxes in social world is that though people spend so much of their time trying to make more money, having more money doesn't seem to make them that much happier either.

My colleagues Nishit & Sarvana both are working with a Top Multinational Companies in India—and I wondered if the issue was not that money couldn't buy happiness but that people simply weren't spending it in the right way to make themselves happier. Or even with more money they were still in search of happiness. Their life was always full of challenges.

Think of someone who makes $100,000 one year and $110,000 the next—do we really expect this additional income to suddenly make this person fulfilled, without a care in the world? (You can also think about whether such changes in your own income really make you happier with your life on a day-to-day basis: Being informed about a raise certainly makes us happy, but the $10,000 doesn't make our siblings or in-laws any less difficult to deal with over the course of the following year. …) Although people believe that having money leads to happiness, I think that this is only the case if at least some of that money is given to others.

Economically the cost of living every year increases by 5% & Value of rupee declines 2 percent, so basically there is no great change in your standard of living that you can get with $10000 increase.

I read this story somewhere….
This story is about a beautiful, expensively dressed lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt that her whole life was empty; it had no meaning.
So the counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors, and then said to the rich lady, "I'm going to ask Kalpana here to tell you how she found happiness. All I want you to do is listen."

So the old lady put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story: "Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody... I had nothing left. I could'nt sleep; I couldn't eat; I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life. Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got it some milk, and it licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg, and for the first time in months, I smiled. Then I stopped to think; if helping a little kitten could make me smile, maybe doing something for people could make me happy. So the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed.
Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy. Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do. I've found happiness, by giving it to others."

When she heard that, the rich lady cried. She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.

So if you are rich or poor, money can help you buy happiness . Its a feeling & not a gesture.

Managing wolves inside us

Many of us have read this story that old Cherokee told his grandson.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people. He said; "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is evil, it is anger, envy, jealously, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other one is good; it is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which one wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

When you feed your higher self you shine with love and your power grows and keeps you in peace. Feeding the lower self can only cause disease that wears on you in every moment causing you to be sick and age faster. Do away with disease by intending to carry love in every moment. Let love be your weapon to prevent your lower self from having any control cause when you give power to your lower self theres no true control, you're out of control.

Our lives seem to be full of duality. It seems someone or something is always doing something that causes us to react to them in one way or another. It could be someone who cuts us off while expressing ourselves or maybe someone getting promotions, getting better salary, growth etc and you find the person boasting on his achievements all over the place.

Is this duality? Is duality the battle of balancing the encounters of every day life and maintaining a certain stance throughout this course? Yes, there're some connections to the outside experiences which tie in to the whole duality process. It is duality because any time you give energy to an encounter with some situation in your experience, you're feeding the duality drive. Duality is the two sides of yourself battling for position and the one that shines it's light the brightest wins in the encounter. This battle goes on inside the self and is won from within.

Feeding the good wolf makes life much easier and more peaceful. Knowing what duality is and how to maintain a balance that favors our higher intention is key to over-coming the pit falls of the dual. That Boaster in your office can no longer bother you when you live above that. There is a peaceful solution to every situation that creates an issue to resolve. True living is one where your purpose is to share your love and let it guide you through your life. In doing this, the good wolf in you gains the sustenance it needs to shine.

You know who your ruler is when you have a situation to handle. If you react with anger, the lesser side of you is at the helm. If you bring peace and love to the encounter, your better side is in control. You may sway one way in some situations while in others, you do the opposite. One thing about the two sides is they both love to be fed. When you give your energy to negativity, you feed the lower self. When you allow peace and love to be expressed, you feed your higher self. Feeding your higher self is the key to winning the battle.